Monday, June 9, 2008

Well Doggone It!

Things I learned living in Oklahoma.

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Oklahoma.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Oklahoma, plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows , it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. "Onced" and "Twiced" and "Acrosst" are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom'

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. 'fixinto' is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar

12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

14. You don't have to ear a watch, because it does not matter what time it is, you work until it is done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, You MASH EM.

16. 'No. jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer.'

17. You measure distance in minutes.

18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for you OWN car.

22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Head Country, Tabasco and Ketchup.

23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.

24. You think the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'

26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

27. ...Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as "goin' to Wal-Martin' "or "off to Wally World"

28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as a good chili weather.

29. Fried catfish is the other white mean.

30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive then we can...besides that, we've been driving since the age of 8.

31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Oklahoma friends and those who just wish they were from Oklahoma


Course of Perfection said...

I understand 'em.

Bag Blog said...

I think you need some inspiration.

Inquiries said...

Perfection: A true Okie

Lou: It was that bad huh?

Buck said...

People actually grow and eat okra.

I sure did, but I came by it sorta naturally, as Mom was from Jawja... and they eat a LOT of okra in Jawja. Being the perceptive sort I am, I learned (immediately) you don't pick okra wearing just a tee shirt.

But, yeah: I can relate to all this. All too easily! ;-)

Bag Blog said...

Buck, most of us usually wear shorts or something with our t-shirt, but you are right - it would not be wise (interesting maybe) to wear just the t-shirt while picking okra.

Bag Blog said...

Of course, that reminds me of the story of Jesse picking wild plums wearing just her shorts - took her top off to get some sun...

Sea-gal said...

I'm laughing so hard I can barely type! What's sad is I, too, understand this post......I needed some comic relief!

Dawn said...

Yeah, this was a hoot! but this has been used in our house many times...
Jeet? No, jew?
(Did ya eat? No, did you?)

Junk Diva said...

I don't see whats so funny, dosen't everyone live like this???? I also like the "big O" expression that is famous in OK. What is a "big O"? That was a big o bug, or that is a big o house. I guess we could have little o's also, that is a little o town.

Inquiries said...

Sea-Gal: You laugh because you know how true it is!

Dawn: Here too. I try not to say "fer" all the time.

Diva: Nope just us crazy Okies. The big o is funny.

Buck said...

The Big O is good... no matter where ya live.

Lou... You might have a future in stand-up, ya know that? ;-)

Becky said...

Oklahoma sounds a lot like Texas!

Growing up in Texas, I also learned that a seat belt can make a pretty good branding iron, and the premium parking spots are not the ones closest to the door, but the ones closest to the shade, and yes, I have burned my hands on a car door handle AND a steering wheel.

The Friendly Neighborhood Piper said...

Did i miss somethin'? i suppose 31 and 32 shoulda read somethin like...the sky is blue...and chocolate milk is...well you know.