Monday, April 7, 2008

Send Me No Flowers

Another segment of Emily Post. Enjoy!
"The fiancee´of a young man is 'saving in order to marry,' would be lacking in taste as well as good sense were she to encourage or allow him extravagantly to send her flowers and other charming, but wasteful, presents. But on the other hand, if the bridegroom-elect had plenty of means, she may not only accept flowers but anything he chooses to select, except wearing apparel or a motor car or a house and furniture-anything that can be classified as 'maintenance.'
It is perfectly suitable for her to drive his car, or ride his horse, and she may select furniture for their house which he may buy or have built. But, if she would keep her self-respect, the car must not become hers nor must she live in the house or use the furniture until she is given his name. He may give her all the jewels he can afford, he may give her a fur scarf, but not a fur coat. The scarf is an ornament, the coat is wearing apparel. If she is very poor, she may have the be married in cheese-cloth, or even in a dress she wears usually, but her wedding dress and the clothes she wears away, must not be supplied by the groom or his family. There is one exception; if his mother, for instance, has some very wonderful family lace, or has kept her own wedding dress and has no daughter herself, and is would please her to have her son's wife wear her lace or dress, it is proper for the bride to consent. But it would be starting life on a false basis, and putting herself in a category with women of another class, to be clothed by any man, whether he is soon to be her husband or not."--Etiquette By Emily Post 1922 ©

My have times have changed! I find this selection from Ms. Post interesting. What is the bride is very poor and she wants a nice wedding dress and her future husband wants to give her that and can afford it. I do not think it is wrong for her to accept it. Just my personal opinion.


Junk Diva said...

Ashley, How dare you be so forward as to wear a dress bought by a man. Now a fur coat I would probably take. LOL

Actually if you look at the reasoning behind all those standards, you can see the wisdom. I think it has to do with not putting yourself under another mans authority until your married. Or giving the appearance of belonging to him.

You are right about times changing.

Bag Blog said...

Some of those things do sound ridiculous. Why can you ride his horse, but not wear his fur coat? I'd rather have the fur.

Dawn said...

I agree with you Ash, buy the girl a dress by gosh, besides isn't cheese cloth a little see thru-y?????

Inquiries said...

Diva: I see the wisdom behind the standers but I find them a little bit unreasonable. The kind of woman Ms. Post is talking about is the kept woman. The woman who is the "play thing" of a rich man. I can understand where Ms. Post is coming from but there are always exceptions. Should I be looked down upon because my future husband bought my wedding dress? I think not. Now if I were the kept woman they the standards are different. Why punish all for one's mistake?

Lou: I would rather have the fur too. But of course if he gave me the horse........

Dawn: Thank you Dawn! A cheese cloth wedding could be interesting!

Buck said...

I'll buy you a Chevrolet - I'll buy you a Chevrolet,
I'll buy you a Chevrolet, if you just give me some of your love.
She said,
I don't want your Chevrolet - I don't want your Chevrolet,
I don't want nothing in the world you got, no, you can't do nothin' for me,
You can't do nothin' for me.

I'll buy you a diamond ring - I'll buy you a diamond ring,
I'll buy you a diamond ring, if you just give me some of your love.

I don't want your diamond ring - I don't want your diamond ring,
I don't want nothing in the world you got, you can't do nothin' for me,
You can't do nothin' for me.

And so on and so forth. The girl has obviously read Emily.

Inquiries said...

Buck: I would take the Chevrolet especially if it is a Corvette. And I would take the diamond ring too.

I say that but I am tricky about gifts. I have a standard. I do not accept gifts from any man who is not a friend or family. I would not accept expensive gifts from a boyfriend. Maybe not even a fiancee´. I can not be bought.